Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

I broke up the first time he ghosted me. I told myself that he couldn't possibly have feelings for me if he can allow himself to disrespect me like that, if he doesn't come to discuss issues and if it's Ok for him to make me feel insecure and cry the whole night. Heck, he was showing no interest in what kind of person I was.

People love to answer this with negativity about the dumper. Being the dumper who still contacts my ex, I will give you one reason that isn't negative.

If you want to know why your ex still contacts you, ask her. If you still have feelings for her, adress every issues and try again if you both feel you can find solutions together. Own your bullshit too, remember you both did wrong things. And if she send mixed signals, looks insincere, just block her and move on.

Can you tell me something about yourself?

I love him very much but I broke up because he wasn't invested in our starting relationship, had a passive attitude despite having said he had feelings for me. I rarely got any messages. IRL he didn't talk much either, rarely asked me anything about me and always talked about his ex and women he was having situationships with. The whole thing looked like a tug of war I had to win against a few other women that had his attention.

All those mixed feelings... It's been quite some months now since the break up and my last hopes are diminishing fast. I hope I will be able to move on because this situation has been very tiring, so nerve-wrecking.

To me this is nonsensical. I wanted to be with him, us to love, support and take care of each other, experience many things and start a family if things went well. And if he wanted all that, he would have given his all and ended things with the other women. I am not supposed to force him to chose me. So…

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After ignoring each other for a few weeks, we eventually started to talk again, formally. I had hopes he would regret acting like he did before the break up and eventually accept to have a discussion to reconcile. But he never did. He sometimes sends me memes, sometimes a very little chat, a little joke, a little flirty comment and disappears fast. Sometimes he surprises me with little gifts (things he knows I will need soon). But still no serious discussion and he doesn't come if I invite him to eat together. It's hot (lukewarm) and cold the whole time.

So in conclusion: A woman doesn't always dump to fuck better looking guys. Sometimes she loves with her whole heart and just puts clear boundaries which aren't respected and force her to break up to avoid suffering too much.